As my friend Dannion said when I asked him about my drinking , he said "oh, it's just self-medication." No judgement, just understanding about the challenges of being in the body. I drink responsibly most of the time and pay attention to the tendencies of negative emotions. Another opportunity to watch and learn.
As my friend Dannion said when I asked him about my drinking , he said "oh, it's just self-medication." No judgement, just understanding about the challenges of being in the body. I drink responsibly most of the time and pay attention to the tendencies of negative emotions. Another opportunity to watch and learn.
I wonder what he’d say if it were your spouse that you were trying to deal with and those negative emotions (BTW negative emotions hits the nail on the head) and figure out how to deal with them, because I can’t figure it out. When I’m coming home from work I never know what I’m coming home to. I pray it’s not going to be a bad time. At times I question if I can come home to it if it were to go on for the rest of my days here. Alanon?? It’s so hard to know what is the right way to handle someone else’s drinking and as you say those negative emotions and negative effects drinking has on your spouse. When we were young her drinking was not a problem, things have changed in her over the years, it so abusive to me at times and no one, even friends of mine that go to AA can tell me how to fix this. It’s even hard for me to explain the emotional abuse I have had to take from someone I love, it’s a f’d up rollercoaster life I never thought I’d be in but I am. One friend told me I allow it by staying here, but for me I’m afraid what might happen if I were to leave. You see DD, these are just the surface problems of living with a functioning alcoholic. I’m starting to think there is nothing I can do to fix her problem. J
It is true that you can't fix her problem, this situation is complex. I am currently reading and practicing Byron Katie's "The Work" and "Letting Go The Pathway of Surrender" David R. Hawkins, M.D. Ph.D. The more clear and solid you are the better everything can be, whether you stay or go. Both of these authors had life changing spiritual experiences and are not woo-woo. First she has to see and recognize the situation for change to occur, I would think, I could be wrong. I was firm with my husband about some patterns that were affecting our relationship and we continue to use these tools and chip away. Do your work to get clear, that usually means not doing the same things that don't work. I wish clarity and strength to you both.
As my friend Dannion said when I asked him about my drinking , he said "oh, it's just self-medication." No judgement, just understanding about the challenges of being in the body. I drink responsibly most of the time and pay attention to the tendencies of negative emotions. Another opportunity to watch and learn.
I wonder what he’d say if it were your spouse that you were trying to deal with and those negative emotions (BTW negative emotions hits the nail on the head) and figure out how to deal with them, because I can’t figure it out. When I’m coming home from work I never know what I’m coming home to. I pray it’s not going to be a bad time. At times I question if I can come home to it if it were to go on for the rest of my days here. Alanon?? It’s so hard to know what is the right way to handle someone else’s drinking and as you say those negative emotions and negative effects drinking has on your spouse. When we were young her drinking was not a problem, things have changed in her over the years, it so abusive to me at times and no one, even friends of mine that go to AA can tell me how to fix this. It’s even hard for me to explain the emotional abuse I have had to take from someone I love, it’s a f’d up rollercoaster life I never thought I’d be in but I am. One friend told me I allow it by staying here, but for me I’m afraid what might happen if I were to leave. You see DD, these are just the surface problems of living with a functioning alcoholic. I’m starting to think there is nothing I can do to fix her problem. J
I will pray for you, James and your wife. God still answers prayer. He is the answer. Always. It is hard to know what to do but GOD!
Thank you Margaret….
It is true that you can't fix her problem, this situation is complex. I am currently reading and practicing Byron Katie's "The Work" and "Letting Go The Pathway of Surrender" David R. Hawkins, M.D. Ph.D. The more clear and solid you are the better everything can be, whether you stay or go. Both of these authors had life changing spiritual experiences and are not woo-woo. First she has to see and recognize the situation for change to occur, I would think, I could be wrong. I was firm with my husband about some patterns that were affecting our relationship and we continue to use these tools and chip away. Do your work to get clear, that usually means not doing the same things that don't work. I wish clarity and strength to you both.