Remember there are millions of people, worldwide, who appreciate what you and Jill are doing for humanity. Also, along the lines of your second action items, I once knew a forensic psychologist who was brilliant at giving me very effective replies for getting out of (usually terminating) discussions like the one you found yourself in dur…
Remember there are millions of people, worldwide, who appreciate what you and Jill are doing for humanity. Also, along the lines of your second action items, I once knew a forensic psychologist who was brilliant at giving me very effective replies for getting out of (usually terminating) discussions like the one you found yourself in during that podcast. Her suggestions were very nonintuitive for me, but they worked incredibly well. I felt empowered, the other party wasn’t diminished but instead realized they were behaving inappropriately (or at least not in the best interest of whatever their goals were) and I was able to move on with grace and without ruminating about the situation. I believe she was a uniquely skilled psychologist. I met her through a colleague when I was dealing with a letter from a stalker. In one short email to the stalker, she guaranteed that he would never contact me again. I don’t know how she knew that, but it worked. Later, I had a bullying encounter with someone in the org that I worked for, and again, I was able to deflect that situation using her reply. I might be able to track her down if you’d like to be in touch with her. Otherwise, I’m mentioning this because perhaps you will know or find someone like that who can give you those solutions. Maybe more of us would benefit from studying forensic psychology as well. It would be nice to find a primer that gives the solutions in succinct form. Sometimes I invest the time in things like that in order to be better prepared for my next life! 🙂
One method is to make it a habit of laughing at people who take themselves seriously. Even when you can't get a word in edgewise their words slide off you and you do really get the "last laugh." One time when I was being attacked online a friend said, "You actually enjoy goading these people on, don't you?"
Yes, laughter is good medicine too, but in my experience, halting abuse, especially without demeaning the other party, is also very uplifting. And putting an end to abuse is in some cases an absolute necessity. I hadn’t seen or in any way communicated with my stalker in several decades (since I was a tween and he was in elementary school), and yet all that time he was stalking me without leaving any clues. In the case of the colleague in my org, he seemed pretty hell-bent on “throwing his weight around” and making others miserable, and eventually I came into his sights. Most people I knew avoided him. It’s no joke to be confronted by someone whose thoughts are beyond what you can fathom. Yet just a few well-chosen, nonintuitive sentences makes the whole thing disappear! Eventually I became the head of the org, and (coincidentally?) he moved to another org six months before I took over…. That’s what I call really disappearing. 🙂. I don’t ever think about these incidents unless a situation like this comes up and the approach might be of help to someone else.
Remember there are millions of people, worldwide, who appreciate what you and Jill are doing for humanity. Also, along the lines of your second action items, I once knew a forensic psychologist who was brilliant at giving me very effective replies for getting out of (usually terminating) discussions like the one you found yourself in during that podcast. Her suggestions were very nonintuitive for me, but they worked incredibly well. I felt empowered, the other party wasn’t diminished but instead realized they were behaving inappropriately (or at least not in the best interest of whatever their goals were) and I was able to move on with grace and without ruminating about the situation. I believe she was a uniquely skilled psychologist. I met her through a colleague when I was dealing with a letter from a stalker. In one short email to the stalker, she guaranteed that he would never contact me again. I don’t know how she knew that, but it worked. Later, I had a bullying encounter with someone in the org that I worked for, and again, I was able to deflect that situation using her reply. I might be able to track her down if you’d like to be in touch with her. Otherwise, I’m mentioning this because perhaps you will know or find someone like that who can give you those solutions. Maybe more of us would benefit from studying forensic psychology as well. It would be nice to find a primer that gives the solutions in succinct form. Sometimes I invest the time in things like that in order to be better prepared for my next life! 🙂
One method is to make it a habit of laughing at people who take themselves seriously. Even when you can't get a word in edgewise their words slide off you and you do really get the "last laugh." One time when I was being attacked online a friend said, "You actually enjoy goading these people on, don't you?"
I have caught myself 'goading' before. I admonish myself for it. Best just to disagree.
The high road is rarely the wrong road. On the other hand, 1 Kings 18 suggests there are times to get in evil’s face and ridicule it to scorn.
Yes, laughter is good medicine too, but in my experience, halting abuse, especially without demeaning the other party, is also very uplifting. And putting an end to abuse is in some cases an absolute necessity. I hadn’t seen or in any way communicated with my stalker in several decades (since I was a tween and he was in elementary school), and yet all that time he was stalking me without leaving any clues. In the case of the colleague in my org, he seemed pretty hell-bent on “throwing his weight around” and making others miserable, and eventually I came into his sights. Most people I knew avoided him. It’s no joke to be confronted by someone whose thoughts are beyond what you can fathom. Yet just a few well-chosen, nonintuitive sentences makes the whole thing disappear! Eventually I became the head of the org, and (coincidentally?) he moved to another org six months before I took over…. That’s what I call really disappearing. 🙂. I don’t ever think about these incidents unless a situation like this comes up and the approach might be of help to someone else.