Here is someone who put a great deal of effort and time into trying to understand human nature... see link below to Alice Miller's book THOU SHALT NOT BE AWARE...
For me personally... the root of the problem lies in unprocessed/ unintegrated TRAUMA... which DISTORTS human nature.
The vast majority of humans do NOT live according to human n…
Here is someone who put a great deal of effort and time into trying to understand human nature... see link below to Alice Miller's book THOU SHALT NOT BE AWARE...
For me personally... the root of the problem lies in unprocessed/ unintegrated TRAUMA... which DISTORTS human nature.
The vast majority of humans do NOT live according to human nature, but rather in accordance with utterly INSANE societal standards of "normalcy"... imposed upon the child, who then MUST deny their own true nature, in order to conform and survive ... Rather than being supported in living according to their own deepest nature and THRIVE...
“We cannot undo the harm done to children, neither by blaming nor by defending the parents, but perhaps we can help to prevent future damage if we do not have to deny the truth out of our need to defend ourselves or our parents. The truth is that the neuroses of today were not brought about by drive deprivation or drive conflicts but by severe narcissistic traumatizations (such as humiliation, hurt feelings, sexual abuse, and also by making light of childhood suffering), coupled with the necessity to repress them.
The less the public knows of the significance, the pathogenic effect, and the impact on society of these traumatizations, the more frequently they occur.
Only knowledge and not merely more spare time can help mothers [parents] to broaden their understanding of their child and to give him or her as much sympathetic support as possible.”
"Thou Shalt Not Be Aware: Society's Betrayal of the Child" by Alice Miller, Lloyd deMause, Hildegarde Hannum, Hunter Hannum
2. Each child needs among other things: care, protection, security, warmth, skin contact, touching, caressing, and tenderness.
3. These needs are seldom sufficiently fulfilled; in fact, they are often exploited by adults for their own ends (trauma of child abuse).
4. Child abuse has lifelong effects.
5. Society takes the side of the adult and blames the child for what has been done to him or her.
6. The victimization of the child has historically been denied and is still being denied, even today.
7. This denial has made it possible for society to ignore the devastating effects of the victimization of the child for such a long time.
8. The child, when betrayed by society, has no choice but to repress the trauma and to idealize the abuser.
9. Repression leads to neuroses, psychoses, psychosomatic disorders, and delinquency.
10. In neuroses, the child’s needs are repressed and/ or denied; instead, feelings of guilt are experienced.
11. In psychoses, the mistreatment is transformed into a disguised illusory version (madness).
12. In psychosomatic disorders, the pain of mistreatment is felt but the actual origins are concealed.
13. In delinquency, the confusion, seduction, and mistreatment of childhood are acted out again and again.
14. The therapeutic process can be successful only if it is based on uncovering the truth about the patient’s childhood instead of denying that reality.
15. The psychoanalytic theory of “infantile sexuality” actually protects the parent and reinforces society’s blindness.
16. Fantasies always serve to conceal or minimize unbearable childhood reality for the sake of the child’s survival; therefore, the so-called invented trauma is a less harmful version of the real, repressed one.
17. The fantasies expressed in literature, art, fairy tales, and dreams often unconsciously convey early childhood experiences in a symbolic way.
18. This symbolic testimony is tolerated in our culture thanks to society’s chronic ignorance of the truth concerning childhood; if the import of these fantasies were understood, they would be rejected.
19. A past crime cannot be undone by our understanding of the perpetrator’s blindness and unfulfilled needs.
20. New crimes, however, can be prevented, if the victims begin to see and be aware of what has been done to them.
21. Therefore, the reports of victims will be able to bring about more awareness, consciousness, and sense of responsibility in society at large."
"Living according to our deepest nature" requires that adults involved with children... in ANY capacity... will validate the child in their feelings and experiences. It involves understanding and compassion INSTEAD of punishment. It means raising children according to THEIR developmental needs and capabilities, NOT according to what is convenient for society.
It means making children a TOP PRIORITY in ALL decision making at ANY level of society, but especially in institutions of power.
It means supporting MOTHERS and MOTHERING FIRST... because babies NATURALLY develop from the womb to mother's arms, to the family and from there into the community/ society.
It means NOT undermining the mother-child relationship... in favour of a career or other societal standards...
We will NEVER fully understand our true potential as humans, while we continue to treat children as less-than-human property.
Bottom-line: NOTHING will fundamentally change, until we fundamentally change the way we perceive and treat children.
THE CHILDREN’S FIRE ...
"What kind of a society is it, that does NOT place the Children's Fire at the very centre of its institutions of power?
"... The total neglect or trivialization of the childhood factor operative in the context of violence and the way it evolves in early infancy sometimes leads to explanations that are not only unconvincing and abortive but actively deflect attention away from the genuine roots of violence."
Here is someone who put a great deal of effort and time into trying to understand human nature... see link below to Alice Miller's book THOU SHALT NOT BE AWARE...
For me personally... the root of the problem lies in unprocessed/ unintegrated TRAUMA... which DISTORTS human nature.
The vast majority of humans do NOT live according to human nature, but rather in accordance with utterly INSANE societal standards of "normalcy"... imposed upon the child, who then MUST deny their own true nature, in order to conform and survive ... Rather than being supported in living according to their own deepest nature and THRIVE...
https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/thou-shalt-not-be-aware--societys-betrayal-of-the-child_alice--miller/321016/?gclid=CjwKCAjwu_mSBhAYEiwA5BBmf5aOFRvL82Wp_mvsuzVpLBdwpJ1AEih-sSK-cS1QPg_tyDRy6pwhdBoC-nQQAvD_BwE#edition=1910201&idiq=24599384
Alice Miller is a very interesting author. Could you elaborate a little more? What is living according to deepest nature?
“We cannot undo the harm done to children, neither by blaming nor by defending the parents, but perhaps we can help to prevent future damage if we do not have to deny the truth out of our need to defend ourselves or our parents. The truth is that the neuroses of today were not brought about by drive deprivation or drive conflicts but by severe narcissistic traumatizations (such as humiliation, hurt feelings, sexual abuse, and also by making light of childhood suffering), coupled with the necessity to repress them.
The less the public knows of the significance, the pathogenic effect, and the impact on society of these traumatizations, the more frequently they occur.
Only knowledge and not merely more spare time can help mothers [parents] to broaden their understanding of their child and to give him or her as much sympathetic support as possible.”
"Thou Shalt Not Be Aware: Society's Betrayal of the Child" by Alice Miller, Lloyd deMause, Hildegarde Hannum, Hunter Hannum
Start reading it for free:
http://a.co/i2ZwaUt
--------
"1. The newborn is always innocent.
2. Each child needs among other things: care, protection, security, warmth, skin contact, touching, caressing, and tenderness.
3. These needs are seldom sufficiently fulfilled; in fact, they are often exploited by adults for their own ends (trauma of child abuse).
4. Child abuse has lifelong effects.
5. Society takes the side of the adult and blames the child for what has been done to him or her.
6. The victimization of the child has historically been denied and is still being denied, even today.
7. This denial has made it possible for society to ignore the devastating effects of the victimization of the child for such a long time.
8. The child, when betrayed by society, has no choice but to repress the trauma and to idealize the abuser.
9. Repression leads to neuroses, psychoses, psychosomatic disorders, and delinquency.
10. In neuroses, the child’s needs are repressed and/ or denied; instead, feelings of guilt are experienced.
11. In psychoses, the mistreatment is transformed into a disguised illusory version (madness).
12. In psychosomatic disorders, the pain of mistreatment is felt but the actual origins are concealed.
13. In delinquency, the confusion, seduction, and mistreatment of childhood are acted out again and again.
14. The therapeutic process can be successful only if it is based on uncovering the truth about the patient’s childhood instead of denying that reality.
15. The psychoanalytic theory of “infantile sexuality” actually protects the parent and reinforces society’s blindness.
16. Fantasies always serve to conceal or minimize unbearable childhood reality for the sake of the child’s survival; therefore, the so-called invented trauma is a less harmful version of the real, repressed one.
17. The fantasies expressed in literature, art, fairy tales, and dreams often unconsciously convey early childhood experiences in a symbolic way.
18. This symbolic testimony is tolerated in our culture thanks to society’s chronic ignorance of the truth concerning childhood; if the import of these fantasies were understood, they would be rejected.
19. A past crime cannot be undone by our understanding of the perpetrator’s blindness and unfulfilled needs.
20. New crimes, however, can be prevented, if the victims begin to see and be aware of what has been done to them.
21. Therefore, the reports of victims will be able to bring about more awareness, consciousness, and sense of responsibility in society at large."
Start reading...
http://a.co/48xe7g3
--------
"Living according to our deepest nature" requires that adults involved with children... in ANY capacity... will validate the child in their feelings and experiences. It involves understanding and compassion INSTEAD of punishment. It means raising children according to THEIR developmental needs and capabilities, NOT according to what is convenient for society.
It means making children a TOP PRIORITY in ALL decision making at ANY level of society, but especially in institutions of power.
It means supporting MOTHERS and MOTHERING FIRST... because babies NATURALLY develop from the womb to mother's arms, to the family and from there into the community/ society.
It means NOT undermining the mother-child relationship... in favour of a career or other societal standards...
We will NEVER fully understand our true potential as humans, while we continue to treat children as less-than-human property.
Bottom-line: NOTHING will fundamentally change, until we fundamentally change the way we perceive and treat children.
THE CHILDREN’S FIRE ...
"What kind of a society is it, that does NOT place the Children's Fire at the very centre of its institutions of power?
It's an INSANE society!"
~ Tim "Mac" Macartney
#TheChildrensFire
Please Watch this Video presentation:
https://youtu.be/1JchSac-VP0
~*~
"... The total neglect or trivialization of the childhood factor operative in the context of violence and the way it evolves in early infancy sometimes leads to explanations that are not only unconvincing and abortive but actively deflect attention away from the genuine roots of violence."
Full article by Alice Miller:
http://psychohistory.com/articles/the-political-consequences-of-child-abuse/